That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Randomize
