If i come over, it means nothing
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
