Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
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