I feel like I'm in dance class right now
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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