I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
