My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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