kristin has been a bad kristin
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
