Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
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