Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
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