His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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