brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
