I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
