so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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