Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
