The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
there is puke in my bra ... again
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