your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
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