Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
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If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
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You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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