I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
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