tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
