Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
My cat gives me a boner
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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