U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
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