Swine flu. Run for my life!
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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