My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Randomize
