I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize
