SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
