Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
