Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Randomize
