i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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