oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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