I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Tonight that bitch will not be with him. You will drunkingly talk him out of this wedding. It is your duty as the one with the least amount of soul. Good luck.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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