Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Randomize
