so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
