fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
