All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
