____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
Randomize
