look no pants
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
