Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Can you bring me the toilet please
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
