Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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