Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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