Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize
