I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
