There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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