am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Terrible idea I love it
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
