Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
He shit in the fireplace
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
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