It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
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