Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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