drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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