3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
