making cat noises will not fix the situation.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.