the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.