No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
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