Plan B is the new Plan A
Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?