I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Randomize
