On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
