I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
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