i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Randomize
