Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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