i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
I intend to get homeless drunk
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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