I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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