My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
