There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
