i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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