i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
