I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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