On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Randomize
