I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i love accidental penises.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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