I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Watching her eat just hurts me
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
