Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
