so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
