I am full of burrito and curiosity
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
