that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
