I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
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We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
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The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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